Family and domestic violence can be a one off or repeated behaviour by someone in a relationship that is intended to cause harm, control or make someone feel unsafe. It is considered gendered violence as it impacts women more than men.
Anyone can be a victim of family or domestic violence, however women are far more likely to be impacted; this is why it is sometimes referred to as “gendered violence” or “violence against women”.
It can happen in any type of relationship, not just intimate partners, regardless of gender, sexuality or community. Abuse can happen between teenage couples, married couples, a parent and child, siblings, a carer for an elderly person or someone with a disability or a guardian or other family member or family friend. It can also happen with past or current relationship – even if you have broken up with someone or you no longer want them to be in your life, they may still be violent towards you.
Family and domestic violence is a very complex issue and it is often called different things or defined differently depending on who you ask. You may have heard it referred to as family violence, domestic violence, intimate partner violence (if it is occurring in an intimate relationship), coercive control, domestic/family abuse, gaslighting, or stalking.
It is also important to note that FDV doesn’t have to involve physical violence and often takes on the form of controlling behaviours. It can take many forms, such as:
- Psychological or emotional violence
- Example: Threatening to harm themselves or others close to you, gaslighting and manipulation
- Sexual violence
- Any sexual behaviours that you don’t consent to
- Financial abuse
- Example: limiting your access to money
- Physical abuse
- Example: hitting, kicking and punching or threats of violence
- Spiritual abuse
- Example: Preventing you from practising your religion
- Social abuse
- Example: Stopping you from spending time with people in your life
- Legal abuse
- Example: Making a false police report, child protection, visa abuse, ignoring an Intervention Order
- Reproductive abuse
- Example: Pressuring someone into having children
- Neglect
- Example: Not providing adequate living conditions, withholding food
- Stalking
- Example: Repeated calls and messages
- Technological abuse
- Example: Checking your phone to see who you have been talking to
- Coercive Control
- This is often a pattern of controlling and manipulative behaviours and includes multiple of the above examples and below:
- Isolating you from your support system
- Monitoring your activity throughout the day
- Denying you freedom and autonomy
- Gaslighting
- Name-calling and severe criticism
- Limiting access to money and controlling finances
- Coercing you, to take care of all the domestic duties
- Turning your children against you
- Controlling aspects of your health and your body
- Making jealous accusations about the time you spend with family or friends
- Regulating your sexual relationship
- Threatening your children or pets